and, SEEN!

magical scenic reveal [Murder on the Orient Express (Old Globe)]

We would spend a LOT of time on a train to see this show. On the Annie-to-Endgame scale, this show is as challenging as a BBC Mystery Theatre episode. Adapted for the stage by Ken Ludwig Directed by Peter Amster Get ready for a glamorous and enthralling journey in this adaptation of Agatha Christie’s masterpiece. On a train traveling through Europe, a wealthy American tycoon is found dead in his compartment, the door locked from the inside. Enter world-famous detective Hercule Poirot, who must navigate a train full of suspects and solve the murder before the killer strikes again. With humor and romance, Tony Award–nominated playwright Ken Ludwig takes audiences on a thrill ride in a spectacular production whose gorgeous designs and innovative staging are a true knockout. This production includes mild language and violence. Total running time: Two hours and 15 minutes (two acts with one intermission).

Metatheatrical book report; an ode to stage blood (Henry 6 part 2, Old Globe)

You would have to bring this show to us. In the Annie to Endgame Scale, this show is a theatre history lecture with pretty slides. World premiere adaptation By William Shakespeare Adapted and directed by Barry Edelstein A once-in-a-generation event comes to San Diego in 2024: The Old Globe becomes one of only a small handful of theatres in the country’s history to complete Shakespeare’s canon with Henry 6, the largest Shakespeare production the Globe has ever presented. Acclaimed Shakespeare director and the Globe’s Erna Finci Viterbi Artistic Director Barry Edelstein turns the rarely produced Henry VI, Parts I, II, and III into a thrilling two-part event, running simultaneously through the summer in our beautiful outdoor theatre. Two ruling families of England, the Yorks and the Lancasters, fight each other in a high-stakes civil war for power known as the Wars of the Roses. These adaptations include everything people love about the Bard—ingenious language, vibrant characters, breathtaking battles, and sweeping crowd scenes—as they explore the impact of national politics on individual lives. And the action is framed by a design team working at the very top of their craft, and a sprawling cast of professional actors and local community members.

yes, and: Shakespeare edition [Henry 6.1 (Old Globe)]

We would sail across the English Channel once to see this show. On the Annie to Endgame scale, this show is as challenging as a mediocre Shakespearean history. World premiere adaptation By William Shakespeare Adapted and directed by Barry Edelstein A once-in-a-generation event comes to San Diego in 2024: The Old Globe becomes one of only a small handful of theatres in the country’s history to complete Shakespeare’s canon with the two-part Henry 6, the largest Shakespeare production the Globe has ever presented. In One: Flowers and France, King Henry VI inherits the crown of England as a child. Absent the strong leadership of his father, who conquered France in a surprise victory, the English court is reduced to petty squabbles. The French take up arms to regain their lost territory and rally behind Joan of Arc, who claims she was sent from God to fight the English. And when King Henry marries Queen Margaret, she inflames the political disputes that roil the throne. Can the English stop arguing among themselves and unite to hold on to France? Or will their in-fighting cost them the hard-won French territory and lead to chaos at home?

drag! [Velour (La Jolla Playhouse)]

We would hang for hours from a fly line to see this show. On the Annie to Endgame difficulty scale, this play is about as hard as La Cage Aux Folles. By Sasha Velour and Moisés Kaufman Directed by Moisés Kaufman A Co-Production With Tectonic Theater Project Radical. Magical. Unforgettable. Created by groundbreaking drag artist Sasha Velour (Smoke & Mirrors, NightGowns, The Big Reveal Live Show) and legendary theatre artist Moisés Kaufman (Here There Are Blueberries, The Laramie Project), Velour: A Drag Spectacular is a sweeping, coming-of-age tale interwoven with the radical history of drag and queer expression. Inspired by Velour’s origin story as a small-town, genderfluid child turned globally-renowned drag superstar, the show unfolds through a dazzling blend of innovative projection mapping, video animation, awe-inspiring lip-sync performances, and bold personal storytelling. Known for her emotional and shocking performance art, Velour harnesses the power of drag spectacle to reveal her deepest fears (and joys) and puts them on display to immerse the audience in queer fantasia. From the often confusing yet joyous search for belonging, to the deep wells of grief that catapult us to face our inner truths, Velour: A Drag Spectacular is a tour de force, rich with humanity, beauty, and above all else – DRAG.

mild language [Ms Homes and Ms Watson - Apt 2B @ the Old Globe]

We would rather keep searching for clues than see this show. On the Annie to Endgame scale, this show is as challenging as a Hallmark movie. By Kate Hamill Directed by James Vásquez A fast-paced and wildly entertaining new play that reimagines the most iconic detective team of all time. In present-day Baker Street, steampunk hipster Shirley Holmes and her spunky new roommate Joan Watson become entangled in a series of cases all related to the same supervillain, who always seems to be one step ahead of them. From the witty imagination of Kate Hamill, one of the most popular playwrights in America, this irreverent take on the beloved characters packs nonstop laughs into a rollicking murder mystery with a bold and modern lens. BroadwayWorld proclaimed, “Ms. Holmes & Ms. Watson – Apt. 2B is delightful and entertaining.”

Chains, not silk (Duel Reality, Old Globe)

We hang upside from a trapeze for 5 minutes to see this show. On the Annie to Endgame Theatre Difficulty scale, this show is as challenging as Mystere. West Coast premiere A production by The 7 Fingers Directed by Shana Carroll Originally produced and created in collaboration with Virgin Voyages The triumphant return of the company that brought Globe audiences last summer’s smash hit Passengers. Love, honor, and betrayal come to life through a blend of acrobatics, theatre, and music in this one-act romp perfect for all ages. Two feuding families engage in a battle of skill, each competition more daring than the last. While the two groups face off, cheered on by their side of the audience, a pair of star-crossed lovers struggles to escape the showdown. The exhilaration and danger of competition provide the thrilling backdrop to The 7 Fingers’s one-of-a-kind daredevil theatrical extravaganza.

rich peoples’ money [Derecho (La Jolla Playhouse)]

We would walk 20 minutes in a rainstorm to see this show. This show is about as challenging as Glass Menagerie. By Noelle Viñas Directed by Delicia Turner Sonnenberg Some storms you can’t hide from. A series of intense storms – a “derecho” – is bearing down on an affluent Virginia neighborhood near D.C., where Eugenia Silva is preparing for a crucial meeting. Eugenia is a politician hoping to join the wave of women of color elected to public office. Her sister Mercedes is a struggling musician fighting to find her way on her own terms. As winds rise and thunder cracks — and tensions between the sisters reach a boiling point — Eugenia’s political ambitions crash into Mercedes’s need to reconnect her sister with their roots.

we forgot to say it’s really really funny! {Fat Ham (Old Globe)}

We would walk a few miles carrying a styrofoam cooler with ice and beers to see this show. On the Annie-to-Endgame scale, this show is as challenging as Cabaret. By James Ijames Original direction by Saheem Ali Directed by Sideeq Heard The 2022 Pulitzer-winning, Tony-nominated sensation Fat Ham is a fresh and funny take on Shakespeare’s Hamlet that The New York Times called “a flat-out hilarious comedy.” During a Southern family cookout, Juicy is confronted by the ghost of his father, who demands revenge for his murder. But Juicy, a young, queer, Black man, has enough on his plate. James Ijames’s remarkable play uses uproarious humor and profound insight to explore the conflict between what you owe your family and what you owe yourself. “Smart, fearless, and wildly entertaining” (The Chicago Tribune). This production includes strong language, mature themes, sexual content, and mild violence.

recast the beam of light! (Ballad of Johnny and June, La Jolla Playhouse)

Book by Robert Cary and Des McAnuff Music and Lyrics by Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash and others Directed by Des McAnuff Love is a burning thing Country music royalty Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash remain to this day one of the most famous couples of the 20th Century. Created with the support of the family and told through the eyes of their son John Carter Cash, this new musical covers it all: their childhoods, their 1956 meeting at the Grand Ole Opry, the storied on-stage proposal in 1968, and the soaring highs and whiplash lows of fame, life on the road, addiction, arrests, controversies, marriage, family and devotion. This is a whole-hearted and clear-eyed telling of one of the most iconic love stories in music history, complete with a soundtrack of beloved hits — I Walk the Line, Ring of Fire, Hey Porter, Jackson, I’ve Been Everywhere and many more.

Covid & beans (Stir, Old Globe)

Proclaimers Scale: we would drive one hour to see this show. Globe-commissioned world premiere By Melinda Lopez and Joel Perez Directed by Marcela Lorca A Globe-commissioned, world-premiere play about family, food, and healing. Two siblings, separated by distance and circumstance, meet to share their mother’s favorite recipe. What starts as a simple project leads to surprising connection as they reminisce and reveal secrets of their own. This tender comedy from Melinda Lopez (Mala at The Old Globe) and Joel Perez (Kiss My Aztec! at La Jolla Playhouse) invites audiences to grab a seat at the table and savor the possibility of reuniting with loved ones after a long time apart. This production includes strong language and mature themes. This production features the preparation of food, including black beans, onions, garlic, green bell pepper, and spices, which will be chopped and cooked onstage and will release natural aromas into the theatre. We ask patrons with airborne food allergies to please take note of this part of their visit. Total running time: One hour and 20 minutes (one act with no intermission).